Last night I was snuggled up on the couch with Greg watching a TV show. Forabout 9 seconds I didn’t know where I was and then bang, I was back again.
It was incredibly disconcerting, and I believe it was a glimpse of thefuture. I keep reading that there is a stage where those with dementia arequite agitated and they can have drastic mood swings.
In those missing seconds I was trying desperately to find something to holdonto and I came up with nothing. That looks like a simple sentence, but it wasterrifying. I didn’t know who I was, where I was or why I was there. It’senough to agitate anyone.
I’ve always been fascinated in brains partially because I am dyslexic butmainly it’s because humans know so little about them. For example, we stillhave no idea why we sleep. Brains are mysterious and I don’t understand them. Ibelieve that I am in good company.
Why can I remember song lyrics from years gone by, but I can’t remember whyI walked into a room this morning? Why can I still remember my post code, but Ican no longer parallel park? Andy why dear lord can I remember moments from mychildhood when I constantly have to check what day of the week I am living inright now?
I am not expecting to get any answers to these questions, but they arefascinating, aren’t they? Its partially why I wanted to keep this blog – sothat hopefully I can see the decline of self along with everyone else.
That probably sounds morbid, but I figure I’m going to embrace this wholething and jump in with two feet. Sometimes gallows humour is entirelyappropriate and at the moments its working for us.