I was taken to a large church in Dunedin when I was a very little girl and I remember it vividly. I was in literal awe of the building, the huge ceiling and the fancy outfits everyone wore. Even I knew this was a place for my inside voice in fact this was a place where you needed to whisper.
We moved houses when I was eight years old and there was a local church within walking distance of home and so I started to attend on a semi regular basis. I have no idea what denomination the church was but it had the wee books, the tiny cups for communion and felt boards that I coveted. I used to get twenty cents to put in the offering pouch and I only ever spent half of that on lollies which was quite a compliment to God given my love of sugar. I cannot tell you why a child whose parents were not into church got it into her head to attend church but I turned up most weeks and it just felt right.
I became an official card carrying Christian when I was ten years old. My parents and their old neighbour’s reconnected a few years after they moved away. Our old neighbours had become Christian’s and they were so sincere about what had happened to them that my parents were intrigued. We all got in a car a few weeks later and drove to Christchurch to check out their church.
They had kids that were all close to our ages and we ended up being separated from each other in different parts of a large auditorium. When the guy out the front talked about God becoming my personal saviour I was walking forward before he told us to do that. I wanted in! I didn’t know it at the time but the rest of the family made the same decision and for some reason the fact we all did it apart from each other is important to me. It was my decision, I was not encouraged or coerced by anyone else.
Shortly after that our lives turned topsy turvey. Dad took a management role in a radio station in Christchurch and so we packed up and moved cities.
The church really was awesome but for me the best part was Sunday school, I just adored it all. We only lived in Christchurch for six months but I leant so much while I was there and soaked it up like a sponge.
We talked about the Holy Spirit at Sunday school and it turned out all you had to do was say “yes please” and this spirit thingy would come and hang out with you. I remember the day I prayed and this whole new language spilled out of my mouth - it was miraculous.
Our next stop was Wellington and sadly Mum and Dad attended a church that had no provision for children/young adults and so we just roamed around the old town hall where it was held to fill in time. I went from feast to famine.
I used to double check I could still do “the tongues” (my name for them in my head) from time to time but the Holy Spirit never budged. When the world got fairly hairy as a teenager I would just kind of double check that God/Spirit was still there by checking on “the tongues”. They were still there.
I rededicated my life to God when I was twenty two years old and we have travelled together since then. It has not been a pretty or easy journey but even when I was literally in the depths of despair God never gave up on me - nor I on Him.
My wee Spirit has a name and it’s Lily which means purity and innocence in biblical terms. The innocence part fits her perfectly because she is around four years old and she just adores me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. She loves to chatter away, she is a keen gardener and she is really creative and helps me out with my windows. She is me and not me all at the same time but most of all - she is fun! She giggles a LOT and thinks my wonky brain is perfect.
Again I am not being disrespectful - I believe Lily is both a wee girl and a mighty power all at the same time. Right now a wee mischievous play friend is what I need and she is fitting the bill perfectly. When I need to move mountains I’m sure she will be up for the job!
One last Lily story before I go. I’ve downloaded Brooke Ligertwood’s new album Seven and most of it is live so it’s got real power. She stopped me the other day and said “that’s me, can you hear me?” She was just tickled pink to hear herself on my headphones.