The words we leave behind

A diary was recently unearthed that my dad kept. It spans quite a few years and he only seems to write in it when big stuff was happening in his life. It was such a gift to read his words and to hear his take on family history. It was also hauntingly sad. 

My dad was a born optimist but he was also a man seeking answers. He went down many dead ends during his lifetime and I was constantly amazed by his assurance that the next move, job or partner would ‘be the one’.

His last entry is from the day he realised he was terminal and only had a handful of weeks to live. Sadly, his last sentence reads “such is life”.  I’m so grateful that I was handed his bible and that diary at the same time or it could have been a heartbreaking read.

On the first page of his bible this is what it reads “At my cremation, would like Psalm 139 read and then Matthew Chapter 16:24-28.

Sometime between that last diary entry and what he wrote in his bible he found a place of peace and one full of God’s grace. My dad adored rainbows and now see a lot of them. It’s become usual for me to see rainbows in moments of happiness, sadness and even the in between. I believe it’s dad just reminding me that he is nearby and watching over me. I’m more than happy if you think I’m delusional but I know I’m not alone in believing that our loved ones are cheering us on from behind the veil.

One of my dad’s favourites quotes was ‘the best is yet to come’. At the end of his life, I am overjoyed to discover he knew that death was not the end of his story. The best really was yet to come and this time he would finally find all the answers to the questions he was seeking here on earth.

I cannot wait to hang out with him again. I miss his laugh and his unique way of seeing the world. He was a wounded child dressed up in a man’s body and I love and miss him very much. 

This week's pottery creation